SO, YOU WANT TO BE A RACE CAR DRIVER, EH?
WELL, YOU’VE COME TO THE WRONG PLACE
The Knoxvegas Lowballers pilot highly-experimental, poorly-tested, haphazardly-build, poor-excuses for automobiles around the same tracks that the real race-car drivers use. We also have more fun doing it than they ever will.
WHAT FLOATS YOUR BOAT?
THE KNOXVEGAS LOWBALLERS HAS 3 “CARS”…
- 1990 Geo Metro SVT – The original. A Geo Metro converted to mid-engine with a 3.0l Ford V6 in the hatch. One of the fastest cars in all of lemons, and also one of the hardest to drive fast. It’s fun, scary, and unpredictable at times.
- 2000 Mazda MPV SVT- Mazda Minivan, with you guessed it, Ford V6. Two of them to be exact. MPV -> Multi-Powertrain-Van. Twin engines, AWD, dual manual transmissions, heavy as hell, very unreliable so far.
- 1998 Ford Contour SVT- Yep, Ford V6. Fast, reliable, FWD. Little annoyances tend to keep it out of contention but it can be very competitive in it’s class.
The MPV is the slowest, and likely spot for most to start out. If there’s interest in the Metro/Contour than it might be possible depending on how you do on track and what kind of confidence you instill in us.
NOT SCARED AWAY YET?
YOU PROBABLY SHOULD BE!
I must warn you, there are very few rules to being a Knoxvegas Lowballer, however each one is extremely important. We work hard to make great (by lemons standards) vehicles, and work equally hard to be good competitors and friends to those we race with.
- Have Fun. Nobody likes a Debbie downer, sore loser, or insert other kindergarden name for someone you don’t want to be.
- Take Care of The Car. You’d be amazed how much time, money, and effort goes into a “$500” car. Hint: More than $500 worth. Those who total the car get to find out.
- Really, don’t wreck the car. Trying to drive too fast is the #1 cause of all incidents in lemons. Shaving .01sec by dive-bombing a crown-vic means nothing in an endurance race; him punting you off track and into a tire wall because you assumed his brakes worked actually does.
- Able to drive a manual. Racecars =/= automatic. Bleh.
- Ability to party, fiesta, fête, etc. Need I say more? We built a motorized picnic table with a beer trough for crying out loud.
- Have Money. The least favorite rule, but a necessary one. In a single weekend we have the ability to burn $1500 in gasoline, eat through 2 sets of $800 tires, and consume $100 in synthetic oil…and that’s just if things go right. Engines, axles, transmissions are common replacement items when things don’t go right. We race ‘cheap’ cars and buy junkyard parts whenever possible, but it all adds up quick none-the-less. $750-$850 is the typical ‘Buy-In’ amount for drivers each race. This is enough to cover costs and break even in most cases.
YOU’LL NEED A FEW THINGS
WE MIGHT JUST CATCH FIRE OR ROLL…
Safety Gear – Helmet, fire suit, fire shoes/socks, neck protector anchors. – Rentals available for $200/weekend or put together your own set of gear for $500-600.
READ ABOUT FINDING THE BEST BANG FOR THE BUCK SAFETY GEAR
Get yourself to the track or Knoxville – Plan to arrive to the track by Friday afternoon or Knoxville Thursday evening.
Camping/Hotel – We camp onsite so we can get drunk and party. There’s a few roach motels within a 30min drive if you prefer.
$50 Lemons License – required by lemons for each driver. No test, just $50.
BUT WHAT DO I GET? YOU MIGHT ASK…
TO BE AMONGST OUR GREATNESS, OF COURSE.
Our #1 goal at every race is to have fun. At a race track, that’s hard to do without racing. Breaking down happens, but we have fun fixing the cars and never give up on the weekend or getting all drivers into something…anything… for atleast a few laps.
Food & (cheap) beer are provided by the team, as is the camping fee and all entry fees. Just get there and your $750-$850 buy-in has you covered!
We’re happy to welcome new drivers. If interested, please send us some information about yourself and any experience you might have. Please include why you’d like to become a Knoxvegas Lowballer!
